Saying Goodbye.

Last month we had to say goodbye to Maxwell, the Chocolate lab I got when still in Middle School. Maxwell had epilepsy, over the years had gone blind (retinal degeneration), and more recently started suffering from arthritis to the point he could hardly get up on his own.

He was the most loving and gentle soul you could ever meet.

I remember having a party at the house when Maxwell was eleven or twelve. Already old for his breed, and completely blind, Max walked around and greeted everyone who came. When a friend's toddler decided to pull on the hair of this back and walk him around like a show pony, Max happily obliged, even though I know he didn't care for it. When the same boy tried to get on him and take a ride, Max stood firm and kept quiet, seeming to know it was a child who didn't know better and needed special care. He never snapped, never was mean... even up until the end. Many old dogs withdraw and want to be left alone when they get old and weary... but not Maxwell. All he wanted to be close to you. All he needed was a gentle stroking of his coat or a few kind words "good boy Maxwell, that's my buddy."

It was tough losing him, but it was time to say goodbye. When it wasn't hard, but impossible for him to get up, when he began wincing in pain and no longer seemed interested in food or oatmeal cream pies... we knew his time was up.

That was last month.

Yesterday, my wife's childhood cat was also let go. It was Sonny's time. For 17 years everyone loved the “Kitty” and he loved everyone in return. He greeted my wife and her brother everyday after school and lovingly purred in their arms when they returned home from college or adult life. He didn't change much over the years; he was the same orange tabby who was always around the house. And while his movement got a little slower and his body a bit thinner, Sonny was remarkably similar in mind and spirit as he reportedly always had been... up until last week.

Last week Sonny had a stroke and everything changed. Unlike Maxwell who aged over time, Sonny's life changed rather sudden. The always self-sufficient friendly kitty grew old in an instant.

I wonder if he knew Will was about to graduate from Grad School, and Melanie was off married now. I wonder if he knew Peggy needed to spend time taking care of Tim during his recovery.

I wonder is he knew his job was done, and he wanted to let go when Will and Melanie were not around so they could always remember him in the same happy state.

After 17 years of greeting the kids home from school and being the talk around Christmas, it was Sonny's time to move on. It must be hard watching the kids grow up and move out... even for a cat.

As much as I hate that we have had to say goodbye to two pets who have shown unconditional love, I am thankful in how it happened. I find it remarkably divine that my wife got to know and love Max and saw how hard it was at the end. I believe in some small way that process and being there for me helped her to better cope and understand being there for Sonny. What otherwise would have been foreign to Melanie became a matter of fact, and while she still shed her tears and hurt over Sonny's loss, she was strong and confident knowing that the decisions were right.

God uses everything for good, even loss.

But it’s still hard to say goodbye.